3 ways to level up your motivation (and the one thing that's getting in the way)
Struggling with motivation and procrastination? You’re definitely not alone. I’ve had hundreds of conversations with clients about “getting sh#t done” — or, more specifically, “NOT getting sh#t done” — and all the ways they try to motivate themselves that just don’t work.
In fact, let me tell you the number one mistake people make when trying to motivate themselves:
Being hard on themselves, or “forcing” motivation.
This sounds like:
“Ugh, I’m so lazy.”
“I just need to DO IT. I don’t know why this is so hard.”
“Nothing is stopping me from doing this but myself. I’m just getting in my own way. Why can’t I just do it?”
Sound familiar? It’s okay. Like I said, it’s the number one mistake, so you’re in good company.
But let’s not do that anymore, okay?
Try these 3 tips instead!
1. Time your task.
Got something you know you should do, but can’t find the time? Don’t feel like it right now? I know the feeling. I used to convince myself that doing my weekly grocery shopping took at least two hours. (Two hours, for groceries! Just for one person!) So if I didn’t comfortably have two hours to spare, I couldn’t go grocery shopping.
Finally, I timed myself from the moment I parked to the moment I finished loading my bags and got back in the car. (I already had a list. That’s another motivation tip! Make a list!) I did this several times, and found that on average, it takes me 30 minutes or less to do my shopping.
Now that I know this, all I need is to find 30 minutes in my day between errands to get my groceries for the week. Much easier than two hours!
So whether your task is grocery shopping, laundry, dishes, or answering emails, time yourself as you do it a few times. You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised, and you’ll also have evidence that you truly do have the time — and then some.
2. Follow the feelings.
Does this sound like you?
“I know I should go for more walks, because it’s good for me.”
Or
“I should read books instead of looking at social media, because social media is so bad for your mental health.”
We’re so bombarded with messages about what’s “good” and “bad” for us that our minds have become programmed to motivate ourselves (and each other!) with directives like “should,” instead of inspiration and desire like “want” and “love.”
So why do you really want to go on a walk or read a book? Here’s a simple way to find out:
Imagine a week in your future life where you’re regularly going on walks or reading instead of scrolling. How do you imagine you’ll feel? What will the act of walking or reading add to your life that’s currently missing?
Maybe you’ll say “I’ll feel more energized from walking” or “I’ll feel more inspired from reading.” Whatever the feeling, really spend a few moments marinating in it.
Then when you’re looking for motivation to do it, remember the feeling you associate with the act of doing it. And follow that feeling!
3. Learn to say no!
It sounds counter-intuitive to say no in order to find motivation, but motivation stems from having enough energy to give to things. And when you’re overcommitted or stretched too thin, your energy bank is constantly hovering around the red line.
The number one reason people struggle with motivation is that at some point, they said yes to too many things, and either they’re still burning all the candles at all the ends, or they burned out awhile ago and are floundering in feelings of guilt about it.
So finding that true seed of motivation again means starting with saying no — to things, to people, to ideas, and most of all, to the guilt.
This might look like:
Instead of “I can squeeze in a quick coffee date for an hour between work and picking my kids up,” saying “Things are really hectic right now, can we check in after a couple weeks?”
Instead of “But I promised my book club that I’d bake cookies this time,” saying “I’ll pick up cookies from Whole Foods on the way” or “Sorry guys, I can’t make it tonight.”
Whatever the scenario, it’s really important that you remind yourself that it’s okay that you said no. Really. It’s okay. That’s how you also say no to the guilt!
Once you become more familiar with the feeling of saying no, and truly allow your body to release the impulse to say yes, you’ll notice a relaxation of the energetic muscles that keep you tense and tired. From there, a more natural and intrinsic motivation can finally begin to flow.
And there you have it! Three simple tips that will motivate you without making you feel bad. Try one or try them all! Just remember that anything you’re struggling with motivation to do is not yet a habit, and habits take time to develop and settle in. So have a little patience and lots of kindness, and watch that motivation level rise.
You know what else helps with motivation? Having someone else by your side to encourage you and check in on your progress. I’ve worked with tons of people to successfully increase their motivation and build new habits, and I’d love to work with you! Book a free consultation call and learn more about how coaching can help.
Does the idea of saying no give you hives, even though you know you take on too much and never have enough energy or motivation for yourself?
My starter coaching session, How to Say No, will help you get the bottom of why you have such a hard time saying no and then teach you strategies to say no and set boundaries effectively, so that you can free up some time to do the things you really want to do.
Sign up now and start paving the way to your happy, motivated life!